Tuesday, October 28, 2003

I turned 21 on the 22nd of october. 36 people showed up for my get together at TGIF and I wasted my evening in the bottom of empty glasses that damaged a small portion of my brian. Later I crewed myself and 7 others to vegas where more sinful acts commenced. Yes. I had a great time up until i got sick and then it hit me on my 10 hr car ride... what the hell am i doing with my life? I am 21 years old, almost done with college and I have goals and oppertunities that present themselves to me daily. This and my family have been the number one things in my life, but i feel compleatly unfulfilled right now. I wish I knew why. I think its because of my religion and how i havent found anyone quiet like myself. I feel seperated from one of the most important men in my life and I am about to make some rash and horrible decisions if i do not wisen up soon. I am sitting alone (for the first time in weeks) and contemplating all my friendships and relationships. I think i have noticed where I have made poor choices and where people have gone sour. What I cannot understand is why i cannot easily fix my so obvious issues. Life is so damn complex. Not only does what u want and what your actions are affect you... but those around you too. I wish for once I didnt have to be responsible or i didnt have to care, but i guess that means i love those around me. I cant just walk away from them. Ya know between law and religion I have hundreds of rules to follow and yet somehow I am able to follow many of them and still find myself looking for guidance. Are humans that in need of structure? Am i compleatly programed to follow what I am told? Why now am i dying for someone to tell me what to do and what i cannot do. This behavior isnt from an adult. Its my birthday... i am 1 year old, 2 years old, three years old.... up until you hit 21. I am stuck somewhere between grade school and middle school right now and i guess I am begging for the 21 year old to kick in and take charge. I hope this fresh year brings me more guideance and more patience to see what is right and best for me and those I love.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Ok, its been a bit. Anyways I am almost 21 so Oct 24th-26th i am gonna be in vegas with Stu, daniel, nick, phil, sue, and bridged. Woohoooo. Well well well. As of last night the fire alarm went off cause the girls on the 4th floor blew out their candles. Good work ladies. My car is a new 96 ford explorer. It kicks ass and i just got it washed. I think the vegas trip will be fun in it. Daniel and Stu are comming in my car so i think the three of us will have a good ride. :) NO not like that u sickos! As for school... well i am passing. Isnt that a releif? I dunno. I am very hungry. I should make myself a sandwhich. I am gonna jam now.... If anyone even reads this... see ya!

Thursday, October 02, 2003

I cannot sleep. ENglish 303 is kicking my ass and I dont have much else to say about it. I am scared more than usual about this mid term and i think the 3 shots of espresso (against my diet) are kickin in on full force. As for my hecktic life... well its going well. I got to paint my self portrait recently and I have been chillin with Stu an aweful lot. Hes probably the grounding force in my life right now. I really do miss my mom and dad though. I am not so much home sick as i am missing my two best friends. Sometimes i wonder what it would be like to just move back home. Recently i have also been craving pizza. Yeah, i know its bad for me. I havent yet, but watching these kids in my place eat all day makes me wish i was them. I have less than 22 days before i am 21. I cannot wait to splurdge. I know i sound like i am bitching, but what i am really doing is having a talk with myself. How important it is to be the way i am right now. I am really working on my heath. Its good to be selfish sometimes. I am just happy Stu looks out for me and supports me. As for my roomates, they are kind and loving. Jennifer has been smiling at me more so I am making more of an effort. Shes gonna be cool once she opens up i think. BTW, AMy... my pal from last semester.... shes the one tutoring me for 303. I owe her more than i can understand right now. SHes gonna save my ass this time and I mean it. As for Sarah, I am glad i have got her to connect with. Seems she and Jer are getting things worked out and I am happy for them. Sarah has got to be one of the easiest people to love here. She calls herself selfish, but i really do see her helping me and supporting me before herself. My eyes are becomming tired. I wanna sleep but i am afriad if i do then i wont remember what i studied. Can i be loosing my brain? I wanna hug stu right now but hes asleep. I think i need less social activity and more of this studying. I did it for about 6 hrs tonight and i feel better about my right to live here and how my parents pay for everything and my education. Speaking of which, i need a new car! Poor herb is very sick. Matt has been a living hell recently. (I cannot believe i published that comment) Its so true though. I mean common Matt lemme be with stu in peace. Its hard having someone love u, and u love them too... but u know hes horrible for u. Stu is the most gentile and kind hearted individual. Hes really good to me and for me. My mom has noticed how much i needed him and shes very pleased hes with me. Ya know, as much as i wish sometimes i was not me, i have to realize i have the best life. Hey, thats a VERY possitive comment for 3:10 am before a midterm so i am gonna end with that and say goodnight, so.... goodnight!

Monday, September 22, 2003

Well its the end of september and I havent written in here since July. Hmmm a huge gap I see. Probably the most important gap in my life and you all have missed it because I have slacked off. Well here goes nothing:

I moved to Fullerton, Ca by my lonesome. I ended up meeting a guy thats far beyond my wildest dreams (even if right now he and I are not on the best of terms, we'll work it out). I have three new roomies, well I take that back. In spirt of family I have 7 roomies and 2 neighbors. See first roomies are in my appartment. Cheryl, the compleatly adorable kid who lives with me, Mai who happens to melt in sunlight (shes awesome), and Jennifer who after a month I dont know anything about but shes good at art. Then my other roomies... the men who make all this possible in my life. First Stu, my boyfriend. Not only is he my bf but my bestfriend here too. I dont know how much i can say without getting to into my personal life, but hes gotta be one of the most kind hearted and loving individuals. Then there is Steven, hes sooooo cute! Man laddies if ur lookin for a lil hunk with a huge heart.... steven's ur man! Then Nick, I think hes in denyal about being so hot as well... But hes great with the Easy Mac and fun to talk to. I give this boy an 11 out of 10. Then last but never least of my roomies... Daniel. Hes totally into clarienett (sp?) and likes to pig out on In-N-Out as some of us jog our butts off every day. Also good company!
My neighbors are Sarah (also the RA) who wants me to see her naked and is my closest female friend here. I think shes not only excellent at advice but loves me too! heh heh She has three roomies i also like a lot. My other neighbor is el jeffe. (Jeff) He's compleatly hystarical. I think he and i connect on so many levels. Heck i took him for his eye brow peircing. Yes Jeff, it looks good.

As for everything else going on right now... my car broke down and I wont get another one until November. I know I am kinda angry. Sucks huh? Well i am a spoiled brat whos never had to wait for anything... maybe this is just another life lesson. I think i have plenty of room for improvement so this is something I can learn from and realize real people dont get what they want always.... but thanks sarah for the match box car. I appreicate the convertable, but insurance for it is high! A red car????????? I am now a cop mag! :) well this is the quick 411 for you all. Miss u bunches....

As always-

Sunday, July 06, 2003

It's sunday, and remarkably i have survived the 4th of July. That day we moved diana into the cottage with liz and then went to Jasons to swim. Billy came to pick us up in his "hot" ride and we all shot illegal fireworks off in the high desert. Its been a month and a half and Jason and I are still dating pretty seriously. (he'd hate me if he knew i posted these things online) But oh well... its my life :o) heh heh. Mom got her surgery done and shes feeling well. I am pretty excited that everything is moving along well. yesterday Calvin and Jason took diana and i to La Jolla. The boys went snorkling for a bit and us girls read on the cliff... I didnt have much choice cause swimming recently is no bueno. (but i got great pictures) As for the convertable... well we learned it wasnt a road trip car. Calvin and I cannot explain how badly our knees hurt.
So since i have been stuck in summer school and awaiting my move to the on campus resident life, I dyed and straightened my hair. Yes its much darker now with blonde chuncks in the front. Not cute, but very punk. I love it so i guess thats all that matters. My hair has to be straightened daily, so i dont know how long this will last.... but its a change and i needed that. As for everything else... well i start up art school again this friday. so i will be drawing more. I need that relaxation period. Well Hey i dont normally do this to post messages but PETE, yes u PETE.... i keep seeing ur old place and i kinda miss talking to you. I have been reading ur bloggs... glad to know your ok. See ya soon pal!


Monday, June 23, 2003

Ok, so its been a while. Strangly I have been to busy to putz around on the computer or pay attention to school. Ya know for a totally stressed out, overachieving, overly zellous student... I havent really studied all summer. I am taking 2 novels classes, you'd think the heat would be on. Goodness, one only knows why i am content with a C! Thats never happened before! I am starting to miss some of the faces in my old classes and passing by the appartments on campus is leaving me itching to move, but recently my peers at home and I have grown a bit more attached. I am almost driven to say that moving might actually have some remorse with it, where are before i was DYING for the change. BTW, while i am jabbing about moving, Pete ur old appartment is lonely without u... (i pass by every day cause i like E lot best :oP ) My dating life picked up quiet a bit and i was starting a summer romance.... starting is the operative word. Its done now (ahhh how time flies). My parents are slowly building a porch in the front of our wonderful house. The mystery of it is why am i using it more then them???? I LOVE sitting outside and reading. I coulda sworn i wasnt 80 years old. BUT i think i am an old fuddy duddy already. I would claim i am people watching, but there are no people on my block to watch. Oh well, so i am lame. I am buying a Disneyland pass and i have sworn to go a lot this comming year. Anyone whos up for it let me know! I am extatic about it. also, the first Girls night is this wed. (so it doesnt take away from basketball) i am looking forward to it. And an update on my hyperextended elbow.... shes all purdy and fixed! shinny as a new whistle so now i am a baller once again! HAHAHAHAHAHA, i rawk! jk. well kids its time to go back to study mode. Miss ya bunches and hope ur enjoying the summer rain (whats with that???)-

Rachel, the new "Shanps"

Monday, June 09, 2003

Wow... where do i start? Okie lets start from this friday when we all played basketball (i pooped out VERY early) and then we went back to Jason and Calvin's house. I went on my first (and hopefully last) motorcycle ride. Calvin made me wear his helmit and I had to hold on tight. I totally enjoyed his efforts to take me on a ride, but I was not much of a sport. The speed made me wanna cry like a baby. So he turned around and we went back to eat their food and watch the origional "Gone in 60 seconds". I was muy impressed by the 25min car chase. Saturday rolls around and Jason pulls up in his corvette convertable and teaches me how to drive stick. It took me three hours, but I ended up driving all over town and took my mommy for a spin also. He was adorable and I think my mom wants to keep Jason for herself. So after we all grouped at my house and went to some party in Glendora. This house was HUGE i kid you not! I was muy impressed once again.... So we went to Katys at 12:30 am thinkin we'd stay for an hr. Well we kinda all stayed until 7am (11 of us) playing games and watching movies and ate all her food! So then I went to Lizzies and crashed for a few hrs. Came home did two loads of laundry, baked cookies, did the dishes, cleaned Jinx's tank, took a shower, read some of Ethan Frome (horribly boring book) and went BACK to Katys where I made dinner with her for all 11 of us! So then we all watched Montey Python and the Holy Grail and i headed off on my Merry way. Whew I had the best time! I even have pictures. I am looking forward to going to the Angels game soon with Greg also... but he didnt get the tickets. Go figure. Anyways I need to make a beach trip but i am not lovin summer school. Hope everyone is doing well... I miss u all! MUAH!

Ms. Sleepy head Rachie

Saturday, May 31, 2003

The times in your life that you enjoy usually mean that good things have happened to you. Today I got almost half the stuff i need to move from home to my dorm in August free from Ikea. It was cause my mom and i were in line at the right time. (like a door prize) Its funny as my mom and i left the store we both felt terribly bad that we had won... WHY? we are good people... we recognized that many of those people in the store probably needed to win more then we did. I have made it my goal to write Ikea and see if they ever donate to less fortunate. On another note I have recently felt a lot closer spiritually to my religion... I am surrounding myself in good faith. I have always been religious and faithful, but i cannot ignore that i feel G-d has spoken to me by making finals week turn out the way it did. I am content with my grades... i know i worked very hard and what ever i have earned i will accept. I didnt do well in basketball this week. I actually got cliped on the side and it hurt soooo bad. But i know that its just a game. I have become a better sport playing with the Clairemont group then i ever have before. The past two weeks i have done a lot of soul searching. Why I am shairing this i dont know, but i feel SOOOO much better. I cannot wait to go to summer school and then meet my friends in Huntington to catch a few waves roll in. I am ready to soak up the UV rays on my boat, read good literature, and count the days until i move from my little room into a world of estrigen. Well... its late. I need sleep. Night! Lila tov!

Wednesday, May 28, 2003

There is definatly something about basketball twice a week. The competition is wild and my body aches like it never has before. I LOVE IT! Ok, so I have discovered i can shoot 1 outta 3 at the 3pt line. I cant shoot in the key cause i am kinda scared.... those big tall boys can be intimidating. As for finals... I dont know why i am not worried. I think i am more worried that i am not worried. Char finally got her peice of woman hood this week. I am proud of her. Pete, dude ur gonna be fine... finals are not THAT bad. Fight the feeling buddy! I washed my car. I know this shouldnt be such an event, but it was the first time all semester i washed it. So now it smells ok now and there isnt a whole bunch of school crap in it. I finally got Joey to admit he likes Brandy... this is a good step for Joey i think. Admitting u have an issue is the first step to recovery! Heh heh. As for Steve (joey i know u read this)... I cannot believe how excited he is about this one girl. I am so happy for ya steve! Next week i start summer school. I am getting pooped with this whole education bit. Not like i am going to school to make money. I am gonna be a teacher for goodness sakes. We dont make money! AND i am missing WARPED TOUR for it! ahhhhhh someone knock me senseless... what am i doing to myself? Ok well i am pooped. i wanna get naked and hop into bed like a professional gymnist. You kids take care. Good luck this summer and party ur butts off (cause i'll be the kid in the back sleeping as the prof. goes off about how profoundly written American lit is). Ta ta ta

Thursday, May 22, 2003

This is an add on from the post previous.... CHARITY, I HOPE UR HEAD GETS BETTER.... BUY AN SUV! OR A BETTER MAN! heh heh

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

Ok, so this is the last normal week of the semester. I am having issues departing from spring of 03. So, here are some of the things that stand out in my mind:
1. Amy thinking i am eclectic and revising my work
2. Waiting to get beat up cause Charity shared her views on culture ;o)
3. Humping the broken statue on campus to win Gregs friendship.
4. Mid night cram sessions via net with other panicked classmates.
5. Watching a naked man (tartuff) in class with a HUGE grin on my face.
6. The fire alarm in the MH building ..."Im my moms only kid!"
7. Taking a shot of Rum after my first C, and darted off to take a mid term!
8. Breakfast with the ladies in the English department and all the men bashing we did.
9. Mikes never ending sanity when i couldnt hold myself together.
10. Jenny fell twice trying to walk to class... HAHAHAHAHA
11. Break dancing (the worm baby!)
12. the 15 hr paper in the library, 2nd floor, no air conditioning
13. Paper boy and the man whos only half black from the waist down. Oh and that damn Backstreet boy Charity loved
14. The LBC party when Steve and Jason had to ride in my trunk.
15. The first time i ate busy bee (blech)
16. All of my Bri cheese stories, wal mart runs baby!
17. Barry alone is a memmory, but the time he lit himself on fire was quiet the sceen at Cal Poly.
18. Mikes new appartment, the gun that shoots those plastic things that give me welts.
19. "I did not inhale in the LBC!"
20. The times my alarm didnt go off
21. The time Caldwell left the class in a puff... only to come back in a little later (we didnt move) trying to start class again!
22. Tims calls at the beginning of the semester.... every sunday, email 101
23. The time a Police officer appologized cause he made me move, when i was illegaly parked and the kid next to me selling weed..... and he drove by and said sorry cause he made us rush LOL!
24. Food poisioning with Bri and my fam over a bad tostada.. going to Phils and almost puking on his floor!
25. Mr. Rodgers died, and i think Professor Friend looks like him! (but i wouldnt want to be his neighbor)
26. I learned how to use a virsa teller!

Well i am sure more will come to me, but this is it for the while.
Have a good and safe summer my friends.
Rachel, the cute one, cause my mommy told me so!

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Tah Dah! *claps* I felt like putzing around on the ol lap top and making a mockery of myself. Joey, i think its ur birthday.... but u wont tell us.... so happy Bday! (i think) Also, Cheese.... if it werent for ur insane sanity (whatever paradox u can get form that) i myself might not be the stable (hahahahaha) individual i am today. I love u like a sis, but thank goodness i dont have to share a bathroom with you! As for my long Gass poetry paper... "free at last, free at last, thank G-d almighty, free at last!" I have finished the dreaded paper (now awaiting the portion of this month where i get the grade and go psycho) Oh, hey my granny turned 80 today. WHat a marvolus woman. I adore her so much. I am glad she is healthy at 80 and uses the internet. How many grannys use Ebay? mine does! weird i know! some day when i am 80, she and i can play black jack, swing some beers, and hustle the grandkids :) heh heh.... Pete, we're talking again. Good to know that we can tag team it up at 4am to get through the nightmare of Gass. You're a Champ... I'll be the chump. Well i just wanna say Bri i appreciate the open connection we have. You are one of my best friends. We are NOTHING alike in nature, but we realize this an i think that makes the friendship more valuable. I love u very much, and if it matters at all... You're a founding sister of the SexSea Bitch sorority... Beta Hoe Class! woop woop. Sisters for life and no dues to pay!

Monday, May 12, 2003

I got a new lap top... my mom says its my third arm or my brain, but t he computer spells better then i do. We went to some rawkin party friday night in the LBC but those frat guys need to tell a chick when they are married. Ewww hello i am cute dont mess with me! So we have pics from the night. http://normality.net/images/digitalcampics/05-10-03/ check the mess out! Bri and i were diggin it. BTW Bri and Jason... i love u both, leave me outta it yo! Make out and make up, but leave the friend out on the curb where i can listen and watch with some pop corn. Tonight i saw mark which i havent in a long time. Good to see the cat again. I have so much school work to do its killin me. Its 2:40 and i am not asleep. How dumb can i be? wait wait dont answer it. Class isnt until 1pm anyways. duh... so i am gonna leave u now and work on my new computer. I LOVE THIS DAMN THING!!!!! have fun! night night

Saturday, May 10, 2003

To the crew *ahem*:
It wasnt about the partying
Or the trips to the LBC
Its not about the shit we do
The late nights at Cal Poly
Dont think its the rice we eat
When we have no cash to spend
Its not about the beer we drink
Or the trunk rides from a friend
Not about the calls we make
Or the coffee house we play
Its JUST about the bonds we have
Like when i needed you today-

Steve, Mike, Jason, Cheese... you are my peeps!

Thursday, May 08, 2003

Until you reach college u dont know what it means to be up at 4am cramming in a brit lit paper. U have no clue that the world is up past 10pm and that ur mom wakes up to use the restroom at around 1am. I dont think you ever truly come to terms with who you are and what your purpose is in life, but i think that college (with the help of an all nighter) really puts perspective on things. Tonight people have IMed me, called, and shown up to bond and i have gone astray... I am flirting with Milton, a dead man whos puritain values seem tarnished by my crass demise. Again i battle the literature displayed before me... and again I will loose to the hands of an angry professor. I kid you not, this is my life and for whom it concerns i care not. What i do care is how it pans out. Whats right is not always easy, and whats easy is not always right... College is right for me. I am learning more outside the class then within... It is not always how i find the answer that matters... just that i have found truth within myself.


Tuesday, May 06, 2003

Life is SOOOOO hard without a decent computer... but oh well... can u believe some cultures have never seen a light bulb? Man, i am on spoiled kid! BUT dispite my horrible "working" conditions... I have been deep in thought. Ya know as an English major its my job to read. (duh) Unrequited love is a MAJOR poem seller.. I HATE that so overly done Dickinson issue. I love her and her poems, yet sooo over the whole negitive love problems.
Barry, Pal i miss u so much. Whatever happened to friends who actually lived in my state? ALthough, i am glad to say Dave (Flounder) has called u out. And hes soooo right. Matthew has moved in with Lou, i thought i would never see the day some people moved outta that crappy and nasty hell hole they call the TKE house. If someone doesnt get SARS from there i would be shocked. I think this move will really help out with things. Make it easier to function. Seeing that Sean isnt fuctioning with Shawn its nuts.
I saw Xmen II Dude... u have to see the first one FIRST! duh, numeric order people! I am really stressed with papers (so rach why are u waisting ur time here?) cause i want to damit! (who said that??? *confused*) ANyways, i think i have kinda dropped off the planet with some people and i appologize. Bare with me please! Well, stay safe people. Enjoy the up and comming sunshine, and if the sun doesnt shine... share a smile, thats much better anyways. Although, i cant ride my boat on a smile. Pray for sun, smiles are optional! :o) take care people!

Waiting for the swells to be more merciful!

Thursday, May 01, 2003

I cant imagine not experiancing what I have this past few weeks. It's been odd with the crew. Sometimes i think that if i am seperated from the gang to long that i am alone. Its amazing the lessons i learn about life... a fire breathing, nail shoving guy can be the best thing thats happened to me in a while. Its not about what the relationship is or can be, its not even about how it started... its regaining my faith in "good peeps". I have found the ultimate good person. Keeping good people in mind poor Mikes place has been used and abused a lot! I have been there so much lately. If not there then I am cramming all the papers that have built up... With all this excitement built I found out next summer (Not this one) I am going to Israel for a month. I cannot wait to tell Jack. My sunburn from boating is killin me. Blech! But the surf was nasty and choppy sunday anyways. Hey I got my housing papers today too...! wooohooo! i am movin out! yipeeeeee! I love my life. Anyways I am gonna study for Dr. Friends impossible exam and then hit the hay. U kids all be wild and crazy. And hey, Greg, sorry for washing ur face pal :o) i forget sometimes i am not everyones mommie ....heh heh

L'hetraot- Rachie

Thursday, April 10, 2003

Hey everyone-
I just wanted to announce i was absolutly disgusted tonight... thanks to a man who quoted "I didnt molest the sheep" i wanna puke! I think Mike and Steve can relate to how i feel. Its worry some when i cannot find an appetite. *sadness falls over my house* But then Mike made the night a whole lot better... see discussing with the group size issues is amazing.... when you have friends that take great pride in their bodies. "Small Mike, Big dick" I didnt know there was a guy named Richard at the table mike.... :o) anyways. If you wanna see the gang, here we are http://normality.net/images/digitalcampics/ okie... so the pics of me are not cute... my friends like to be naked, and ummm well.... we're just weird... life is good and i love u guys!

Monday, April 07, 2003

To my dear friend greg-
Greg.... if it werent for you Disneyland would be borning... school would be less eventful, and i think that the pelvic thrust would have been out dated.... you my friend are a sheer gem.... I adore you. Now, do us all a favor... dont reperduce until ur 35.... make ur wife hot and ....ummmm yeah. Anyways this is my lil i love ya update, cause i think someday u might even name a child after me.... i know i would.

Always good times at Ridgemont high
Ms. Rachie Herself

Sunday, March 23, 2003

I adore the ocean. Anyone who knows me knows i LOVE being out on the water. Today... the swells on the way back from Dana Point were HUGE! Now, for most people this is not fun... Having ur bladder bouncing up and down at the pace of the boat. (Usually about 20 knots) Its like a cheep version of a Disney ride, but with priceless scenery. Dad and I are going out again on Friday. He'll play hookie from work... Other then that lets see *ahem ahem* One week until Netto Babe comes down. And i have to share her with Greg, but thats OK Big Pimpin cause you got my back yo'! For the record shes at my casa Sun-Tues pal! So Bri and I went to Walmart and ran around for over an hr picking out carebears while slightly intoxicated. Well I was, she can hold her one beer... i am a cheep date. We got some pics of them, they'll be scrap booked i promise. I went to a BBQ with no meat cause Steve, Mike, Joey, and Jason devoured it. But they save rice for me and thats totally sweet of them. Thanks men! Kyle's performance was Saturday night. Dude "Ultimate Cheese Burger" rocks! Stanfords got nothin on Sac baby! And hey the after party wasnt bad either. woop woop! I was really glad i got myself to finally go to Kyles performance. Definatly something I would like to do again. Yeh to free entertainment for college kids! *claps* Over all it was a cultrual experiance. Okie dokers so I am kinda in the painting mood so.... guess whos off to make a mess? Yep thats right! ME!!!!
Take care and be safe-
Rachie (the cammel and the wine.... Bri ur always the cheese)

Friday, March 21, 2003

Today I woke up to the sound of death… silence. Today, March 20th, we as Americans, have literally sent bombs over Baghdad. This war has made many young adults question our country’s integrity and our patriotism. After my shower I went to the local gas station. (it’s on the way to class.) …the price per gallon? $2.16, that’s robbery! I had to question a few things, like why I was outraged by the price in gas, yet it never occurred that my tax money goes to weapons of mass destruction?
I live in a quiet suburb of L.A. Nothing happens here, nothing remotely dangerous. So, I had to question my safety in this “war for America”. Do I support the troops? Depends, as do all things. I think America needs protection, but the war is not on our soil. So I have to ask what we are defending. Do I wish our troops are safe? Do I pray for them? Every moment! Its “we”, “us”, that fight. It is my generation who’s to take a stand. It is our grandfathers who have sent us to war. These men in office have sent woman and children to their death. Who are the children? There is no age in which makes a child, it’s a mind frame. Our troops consist of many men and women, but more so, these people are children.
The American public is growing. In war growth is hard because of propaganda; the number one stunt of growth on the community. It is the blindfold of the American public. Its ironic to sit here in American Lit at exactly 1:30pm. We all are attentively listening to the professor. Students in Iraq probably cannot concentrate. The news hasn’t shown us this. The papers have yet to show someone fearful of death. And right now I am immersed in dead mans poetry instead of living people’s fear.
Now, at risk for someone reading this… I could be called completely unpatriotic. I disagree so strongly that there isn’t a word that remotely captions how I feel. I’m a voter, a tax payer, a citizen of the United States of America. I have a right to voice my opinion. I am expressing my patriotism by utilizing my freedom of speech. Protesters are the symbol of patriotism. Our country is naive and basks in the beauty of its youth. Those protesters are aging society, allowing us to become more aware, and perplexing the mass amounts of people they demonstrate for. Whether or not their voice makes a political difference it is the best way to educate society. It makes people question their beliefs, even if they are not congruent to those who speak out.
At some level we are all paralyzed by the war. More so on a metaphysical level. Time seems to be going at a slower pace and I think this time is not precious any longer. Precious is a word used to describe youth or angelic beings. This “time” is tainted and spoiled to American’s bloody hands. America, being a child in itself, is not playing with toy tanks and guns. This time we’re counting souls.
My message to my fellow patriots- do as you feel fit in this time of confusion. Pray, protest, be proactive, punish Iraq if you choose; but this is my plea- do not pretend that this war will not bring loss. Because many people in my generation have lost our innocence when the silence I awoke to this morning started

Thursday, March 20, 2003

Midterms love them or leave them:
I finally got my midterm from Caldwell back. I passed! I am so damn excited! So above all there is hope to pass.... I might not have to take Brit Lit again (which would be extreamly ideal) So that leads me on to two papers left and a rewrite which is going to be handed in AFTER break... :) Which leads me in the direction to Spring break which was supposed to be uneventful, BUT BUT BUT Netto is comming from Tahoe. I am so damn excited. Sometimes i feel like i never see anyone.... With Nett being far, greg always working, Clare in colorado, and Jack in Israel. Man, talk about me liking the long distance relationships. So nett we're going boating all week if its up to me... or at least Sunday. woop woop. I am sooo excited.
Ok, so the kindness act of the month award is now presented to my friend Jeff who spent three hours fixing my computer and only made me buy him McDonnalds. What a stud! Jeff thanks for being the best person in the world tonight. I owe u massive amounts of Nuggets! heh heh.... And Cameron needs to hit up that drunkin 40 year old dontcha think???
So i have had a lot on my mind recently. This war is really bugging me. I mean dispite my politcal outlook i still see this as people dying. I am really not ok with anyone passing away for reasons of politics. I guess when it comes to this type of deal i dont ever side with my political party. I seem to be a Democrat on many of these issues. I am definatly not registered Democrat (thanks to Grey Davis) but my pathos (i think) sides with them more often then not. I mean theres a 10 year old somewhere in this country starving. Someone is homeless tonight while i am laying in my warm bed and on a lap top. This makes me feel very sick. So, I am very against war. We have enough issues. We need to take care of one another. Ok ok so maybe i have pissed some of u off reading this... and thats ok.... maybe some of us (including myself) will think about others more often. I have decided in midst of all my college life i am a pampered and spoiled person. I am going to find ways to give to my community. This war may break up people and homes, but I refuse to let it break my moral. I am not asking anyone to change how they feel. I think its healthy to have ur own ideas and oppinions, but i dont think its healthy to forget about the less fortunate. I'm going to find away to help.

Hope all of you are safe and warm-

Monday, March 17, 2003

Discovering shopping 101-
I HATE shopping. I have always hated it. I am soooo not cut out for trying things on and running from one store to another. Fashion? Whats that? Jeans and a sweatshirt arent fashion????? I mean common people.... they fit me ok... so i thought.... Well Bree (cheese) you got me into womens pants. You happy now? I am apparently on the first step to women hood and remarkably it did start below my belt. ;) hmmm go me! SO other then a very steryo typical female momment today I ran around town for my dad and went to class. Quiet uneventful, but... a cirtain someone passes me this hillarious note today (they know who they are) and it made me laugh soooooooooooo hard. So thanx mistery person for ur bit of humor.
Tomorrow back to school and such. Recently I am trying to become motivated to paint. I havent painted to much in the past 2 weeks. I need to develope my prespective a bit more. I need cash for canvas too... man i need a job. Oh wow (starting a tangent) today i used the virsa teller for the first time! go me go me! I had money to pull out. Doent feel like my money though when Mr. Machine gives it to me.... i best be careful. (back onto painting) So i painted a skateboard last time. it was actually better then immagined, but still less then desireable. I have to give credit to even the painters i am not a fan of.... It takes remarkable skills i dont have to paint. Although, I played violin 10 years and still paint better then i played. But hey, band camp was fun! (dont u dare laugh) Well now its time to say goodbye to all our company. M-i-c-k-e-y Y? because we love u.... M- o-u-s-e See ya real soon!

Sunday, March 16, 2003

A special thanks to Kevin...
I love when you and I get Boston Market! Heh heh, Kev our bonding sessions rock! We saw Chicago cause you know I love musicals. Such a good sport you are singing to the music.... heh heh shhhhhhhhhh. ;) So, now that I saw chicago i need to see bowling for colinbine. Its in the 3 dollar theater so if someones willing, lets do it!
This week I dont get to go boating cause the rain. Its been really pretty. Unfortunatly that means no sunday beach trip though (sorry greg). Netto... come home from Tahoe! I miss the heck outta you. Nett just think in a few months Hawaii.... wooohooo. okie dokers well i think u all owe me JK! Oh, Kyle, I am going next Saturday to your show so stop sweatin pal! See ya later u crazy crew.

-Ms. Rachie Herself

Saturday, March 15, 2003

Its 5:53am and I havent gone to bed yet... I dont know if its because I am not tired (as my eyes grow heavy as time is creeping into morn) or if this day has been filled with so many provoking discoveries. I have yet to find a relationship between any two people perfect. I think that there definatly are times when you grow angry at one another. I myself am single, I am less able to form romantic bonds. So i have to question my happiness. Am i compleate without someone? My answer, yes. I dont need anyone, I want them. I have decided that survival comes from within, and that a person who does not like themselves is without. It boggles my mind because I see all my friends carry relationships. Some go on and off quiet often, some are jealous of one another...maybe even nervious, others seem to be normal (but whats normal?). I always feel like the floater. As if i carry my place alone. Sometimes this brings me down to a superfical level of worrying about my hair and makeup... but really... someone who dates me cannot get attached to those things. (My hair always changes) I , myself, find my exterior to be somewhat trival. My inner being needs work. Not that i am dissatisfied with myself, but i have learned to except i am human. Being single does have its flaws though. Not cuddling up to someone or having a speical someone to call. Or the best part, knowing someone is thinking of u even when they cannot be there. Well my eyes are shutting, So as we say in Hebrew... Lila tov (goodnight) and since its early Boker tov ( morning)!


Friday, March 14, 2003

Baja Fresh is Yummie. I am in the dorms just listening to whatever Jamiee has going on here. BUTTTTTT i felt like typing in for the day... So.... I am reading Emmerson and think i have fallen in love all over again. Yes, he and i have a relationship. First off he has such a wonderful disposition. I am totally into how he romanticised nature. He claims evil doesnt exsist. Well... He hasnt met some of the English professors at CSUF :) I think i could debate with him quiet well, but other then that his positive outlook really has me intreuged. I was reading Self Reliance in HS and loved it, but now... i think i can learn to love it even more. I need a beach trip. That would be dope. I think reading some of his passages at the beach could be inspiring. (Ok, i am lame but you gotta love me!) I really want to also see the movie bowling for colinbine. I havent seen it yet and everyone else has seen it or isnt interested in it. So if someone wants to see it with me, lemme know ;)
Wow, the tostada is kickin in. I got the Vegi.... yummy... meat is way over rated people! Come to the dark side... be a rebel, eat vegis! Although a sunday sounds good too... *hmmmm pondering* Okie dokers, so... *ahem ahem* (gaining composure) I have decided I am going to make a list of things i need to do. First off have u seen my room? I really need to clean it. But its sooooooo not fun to clean. I must be allergic. Then maybe study. Someone i know says i do it to much. Unfortunatly that person has natural brillance. I have to achive mine. (Although, I am a woman.... should come naturally eh?) The i am gonna spread my love. No not like that you sickos! I am gonna call my friends who are gone far far away. Colorado, Israel, Tahoe, maybe London if Adrian is up. Awwww how cute i love them! Heh heh.... you think Jamiee will mind if i use her phone? *giggles* ok ok i wont. But i could thjnk about it....
Last night i went to vist Mattie bo Battie. Matt if you read this... ur room smells gross and u need to do laundry. If you dont read this then i am talkin smack and u need to regulate! Grrrr baby grrrr. I also went to drop something off last night and i booked it to my car and i almost had a near death experiance. I never run that fast.... Quick like a bunnie. Woop woop. My randomness is amazingly intense. I need to lay off the soda. I know I am not Catholic, but maybe i should give something up. Hmmmmm well maybe not.. i need my cherry cokes. YUM! Okie i am gonna go play with Jamiee...... Fun Fun. Bye bye bye. *does a lil dance*

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

My first entry:

Wow, first off I am going to not pay attention to spelling or punctuation ever! I am an English major so this is going to be my rebellious stage. Today I got my first C-. Thank you Dr. McNenny. Grrrrr well she was kind enough to give me three weeks to fix my issue. Hmmmm 3 weeks to get a F for my revision. So I think i am kinda upset cause i went to my friend Pete's dorm room today after and had a shot of rum. I dont drink that often, but damn i needed that! But then i went kinda buzzed to my Brit Lit Midterms where i think i was much more relaxed. It definatly was a good idea to get a lil sloshed. Thanks Pete! The Mid Term would have been a lot better if it wasnt from Dr. Caldwell cause shes so damn hard, but o well. I actually knew what i was talking about. Proves my grade will be poor cause i thought i knew about my paper also. grrrrrrrr So here i am in my messy room starting an online journal. I dont have a lot of time on my hands, but for those of you who i dont see often this might catch you up. :) I think i am starting to really enjoy CSUF. I dont have issues talking to people now and i have recently discovered how pretty the Library bathrooms are. Woohooo! Ya know the 2nd floor of the library has chairs that are excellent for napping too. (Thanks mike for pointing that out!) I also have figured out there are these awesome sandwhiches they sell in the titan shop that are totally yummy. MMMMMM food! The things a college kid needs. Today Bree and I had lunch together. I like eatting with Bree cause she makes me laugh sooooo hard. Bree quit ur work and come play with me... ok ok so it wont work, but it might. I am looking forward to sunday. I get to go boating. I do it every sunday, but i need a stress reliever. I think i am becomming a lil anal about my grades. Way to into class if i am crying over ONE C-. Wow my thoughts are all over the place. Ok so i think this can end on an up note seeing that i am a possitive person..... I got a fav quoet today from Pete in reference to his grade while talking to McNenny.... "This is a whole lotta not good!" HAHAHHA

Much love kiddies!
My first entry:

Wow, first off I am going to not pay attention to spelling or punctuation ever! I am an English major so this is going to be my rebellious stage. Today I got my first C-. Thank you Dr. McNenny. Grrrrr well she was kind enough to give me three weeks to fix my issue. Hmmmm 3 weeks to get a F for my revision. So I think i am kinda upset cause i went to my friend Pete's dorm room today after and had a shot of rum. I dont drink that often, but damn i needed that! Thanks Pete! So here i am in my messy room starting an online journal. I dont have a lot of time on my hands, but for those of you who i dont see often this might catch you up. :) I think i am starting to really enjoy CSUF. I dont have issues talking to people now and i have recently discovered how pretty the Library bathrooms are. Woohooo! Ya know the 2nd floor of the library has chairs that are excellent for napping too. (Thanks mike for pointing that out!) I also have figured out there are these awesome sandwhiches they sell in the titan shop that are totally yummy. MMMMMM food! The things a college kid needs. Today Bree and I had lunch together. I like eatting with Bree cause she makes me laugh sooooo hard. Bree quit ur work and come play with me... ok ok so it wont work, but it might. I am looking forward to sunday. I get to go boating. I do it every sunday, but i need a stress reliever. I think i am becomming a lil anal about my grades. Way to into class if i am crying over ONE C-. Wow my thoughts are all over the place. Ok so i think this can end on an up note seeing that i am a possitive person..... I got a fav quoet today from Pete in reference to his grade while talking to McNenny.... "This is a whole lotta not good!" HAHAHHA

Much love kiddies!