Saturday, March 15, 2003

Its 5:53am and I havent gone to bed yet... I dont know if its because I am not tired (as my eyes grow heavy as time is creeping into morn) or if this day has been filled with so many provoking discoveries. I have yet to find a relationship between any two people perfect. I think that there definatly are times when you grow angry at one another. I myself am single, I am less able to form romantic bonds. So i have to question my happiness. Am i compleate without someone? My answer, yes. I dont need anyone, I want them. I have decided that survival comes from within, and that a person who does not like themselves is without. It boggles my mind because I see all my friends carry relationships. Some go on and off quiet often, some are jealous of one another...maybe even nervious, others seem to be normal (but whats normal?). I always feel like the floater. As if i carry my place alone. Sometimes this brings me down to a superfical level of worrying about my hair and makeup... but really... someone who dates me cannot get attached to those things. (My hair always changes) I , myself, find my exterior to be somewhat trival. My inner being needs work. Not that i am dissatisfied with myself, but i have learned to except i am human. Being single does have its flaws though. Not cuddling up to someone or having a speical someone to call. Or the best part, knowing someone is thinking of u even when they cannot be there. Well my eyes are shutting, So as we say in Hebrew... Lila tov (goodnight) and since its early Boker tov ( morning)!

Rachie

Friday, March 14, 2003

Baja Fresh is Yummie. I am in the dorms just listening to whatever Jamiee has going on here. BUTTTTTT i felt like typing in for the day... So.... I am reading Emmerson and think i have fallen in love all over again. Yes, he and i have a relationship. First off he has such a wonderful disposition. I am totally into how he romanticised nature. He claims evil doesnt exsist. Well... He hasnt met some of the English professors at CSUF :) I think i could debate with him quiet well, but other then that his positive outlook really has me intreuged. I was reading Self Reliance in HS and loved it, but now... i think i can learn to love it even more. I need a beach trip. That would be dope. I think reading some of his passages at the beach could be inspiring. (Ok, i am lame but you gotta love me!) I really want to also see the movie bowling for colinbine. I havent seen it yet and everyone else has seen it or isnt interested in it. So if someone wants to see it with me, lemme know ;)
Wow, the tostada is kickin in. I got the Vegi.... yummy... meat is way over rated people! Come to the dark side... be a rebel, eat vegis! Although a sunday sounds good too... *hmmmm pondering* Okie dokers, so... *ahem ahem* (gaining composure) I have decided I am going to make a list of things i need to do. First off have u seen my room? I really need to clean it. But its sooooooo not fun to clean. I must be allergic. Then maybe study. Someone i know says i do it to much. Unfortunatly that person has natural brillance. I have to achive mine. (Although, I am a woman.... should come naturally eh?) The i am gonna spread my love. No not like that you sickos! I am gonna call my friends who are gone far far away. Colorado, Israel, Tahoe, maybe London if Adrian is up. Awwww how cute i love them! Heh heh.... you think Jamiee will mind if i use her phone? *giggles* ok ok i wont. But i could thjnk about it....
Last night i went to vist Mattie bo Battie. Matt if you read this... ur room smells gross and u need to do laundry. If you dont read this then i am talkin smack and u need to regulate! Grrrr baby grrrr. I also went to drop something off last night and i booked it to my car and i almost had a near death experiance. I never run that fast.... Quick like a bunnie. Woop woop. My randomness is amazingly intense. I need to lay off the soda. I know I am not Catholic, but maybe i should give something up. Hmmmmm well maybe not.. i need my cherry cokes. YUM! Okie i am gonna go play with Jamiee...... Fun Fun. Bye bye bye. *does a lil dance*

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

My first entry:

Wow, first off I am going to not pay attention to spelling or punctuation ever! I am an English major so this is going to be my rebellious stage. Today I got my first C-. Thank you Dr. McNenny. Grrrrr well she was kind enough to give me three weeks to fix my issue. Hmmmm 3 weeks to get a F for my revision. So I think i am kinda upset cause i went to my friend Pete's dorm room today after and had a shot of rum. I dont drink that often, but damn i needed that! But then i went kinda buzzed to my Brit Lit Midterms where i think i was much more relaxed. It definatly was a good idea to get a lil sloshed. Thanks Pete! The Mid Term would have been a lot better if it wasnt from Dr. Caldwell cause shes so damn hard, but o well. I actually knew what i was talking about. Proves my grade will be poor cause i thought i knew about my paper also. grrrrrrrr So here i am in my messy room starting an online journal. I dont have a lot of time on my hands, but for those of you who i dont see often this might catch you up. :) I think i am starting to really enjoy CSUF. I dont have issues talking to people now and i have recently discovered how pretty the Library bathrooms are. Woohooo! Ya know the 2nd floor of the library has chairs that are excellent for napping too. (Thanks mike for pointing that out!) I also have figured out there are these awesome sandwhiches they sell in the titan shop that are totally yummy. MMMMMM food! The things a college kid needs. Today Bree and I had lunch together. I like eatting with Bree cause she makes me laugh sooooo hard. Bree quit ur work and come play with me... ok ok so it wont work, but it might. I am looking forward to sunday. I get to go boating. I do it every sunday, but i need a stress reliever. I think i am becomming a lil anal about my grades. Way to into class if i am crying over ONE C-. Wow my thoughts are all over the place. Ok so i think this can end on an up note seeing that i am a possitive person..... I got a fav quoet today from Pete in reference to his grade while talking to McNenny.... "This is a whole lotta not good!" HAHAHHA


Much love kiddies!
Rachie
My first entry:

Wow, first off I am going to not pay attention to spelling or punctuation ever! I am an English major so this is going to be my rebellious stage. Today I got my first C-. Thank you Dr. McNenny. Grrrrr well she was kind enough to give me three weeks to fix my issue. Hmmmm 3 weeks to get a F for my revision. So I think i am kinda upset cause i went to my friend Pete's dorm room today after and had a shot of rum. I dont drink that often, but damn i needed that! Thanks Pete! So here i am in my messy room starting an online journal. I dont have a lot of time on my hands, but for those of you who i dont see often this might catch you up. :) I think i am starting to really enjoy CSUF. I dont have issues talking to people now and i have recently discovered how pretty the Library bathrooms are. Woohooo! Ya know the 2nd floor of the library has chairs that are excellent for napping too. (Thanks mike for pointing that out!) I also have figured out there are these awesome sandwhiches they sell in the titan shop that are totally yummy. MMMMMM food! The things a college kid needs. Today Bree and I had lunch together. I like eatting with Bree cause she makes me laugh sooooo hard. Bree quit ur work and come play with me... ok ok so it wont work, but it might. I am looking forward to sunday. I get to go boating. I do it every sunday, but i need a stress reliever. I think i am becomming a lil anal about my grades. Way to into class if i am crying over ONE C-. Wow my thoughts are all over the place. Ok so i think this can end on an up note seeing that i am a possitive person..... I got a fav quoet today from Pete in reference to his grade while talking to McNenny.... "This is a whole lotta not good!" HAHAHHA


Much love kiddies!
Rachie