Avoiding another study night .... I think i have Senioridous. Thats a serious disese in college. I am cheering up a whole lot. Things seem to be comming into place just right. I am realizing Starbucks is like chicken soup for the sleeping soul. I cannot wait to house sit this weekend for my parents. Its going to be nice to sleep in my old bed again. I should go home more often but I feel like I dont have enough time in my day for three healthy meals, how am I going to relax so far from school? I wanna get more tickets to a ducks game. Lindsay, we need to go again! Whooohoooo hockey! I also need to walk more often. I used to do it religiously. WHoa, this is all over the place. Well off to study, cause i need to.
Rach

I just think its funny how some people cannot run their own lives, so when they see you mess up... they run yours. Kinda puts a damper on the growth process.... either way no ones mind is changed with threats. I figure hey, I am 21... I am allowed to be human. Yeh human! So I am gonna go back to studying :)
Rach

Well We have all missed quiet a bit... I went to Israel for a month. The best time of my life. I did more growing there than I have anywhere else in the world. I grew emotionally, spiritually, and ate a lil too much falfel. Then I got home and things got weird. Maybe because I went through culture shock or something of the sort... I dunno. But, the worst happened. I broke up with Stu. Yes, Mr. perfect. I dont know what came over me. I didnt want it to happen. I know I didnt think it would be perminent. We loved one another. It wasnt supposed to be that way at all......... but it did. So now I am sitting here in my room continplaiting whats important. I know he is, but I cannot have that. So I am finding that whats important is to be mature about things. Really know whos good for you. Lindsay is that person for me. I know that sounds like some massive lesbian action, but really... its a best friend. Its someone to take you out for ice cream when you need it or to hug you when you cry. Shes the person who makes me shower and do something with myself (normally she begs me to slow down) because this blob once known as Rachel isnt cute anymore. Its nice to know that when I am not near my family that she, Nadia, and Chris can be mine. I had this talk with chris about what its like to be "homeless" (its dorm lingo for not being close to mom and dad) and I learned something. We are one insestual family on this third floor. This is my home along with 23 other people and I actually enjoy every single person for their own reasons. I took chris home with me last weekend to do laundry and kinda hang out. It definitly made me realize how close he and I have gotten. If he ever reads this, thanks chris. So to the three of you kids... lindsay, chris, and nadia... you're the shit. To Mr. Unforgetable... well you still have a special place in my heart

I turned 21 on the 22nd of october. 36 people showed up for my get together at TGIF and I wasted my evening in the bottom of empty glasses that damaged a small portion of my brian. Later I crewed myself and 7 others to vegas where more sinful acts commenced. Yes. I had a great time up until i got sick and then it hit me on my 10 hr car ride... what the hell am i doing with my life? I am 21 years old, almost done with college and I have goals and oppertunities that present themselves to me daily. This and my family have been the number one things in my life, but i feel compleatly unfulfilled right now. I wish I knew why. I think its because of my religion and how i havent found anyone quiet like myself. I feel seperated from one of the most important men in my life and I am about to make some rash and horrible decisions if i do not wisen up soon. I am sitting alone (for the first time in weeks) and contemplating all my friendships and relationships. I think i have noticed where I have made poor choices and where people have gone sour. What I cannot understand is why i cannot easily fix my so obvious issues. Life is so damn complex. Not only does what u want and what your actions are affect you... but those around you too. I wish for once I didnt have to be responsible or i didnt have to care, but i guess that means i love those around me. I cant just walk away from them. Ya know between law and religion I have hundreds of rules to follow and yet somehow I am able to follow many of them and still find myself looking for guidance. Are humans that in need of structure? Am i compleatly programed to follow what I am told? Why now am i dying for someone to tell me what to do and what i cannot do. This behavior isnt from an adult. Its my birthday... i am 1 year old, 2 years old, three years old.... up until you hit 21. I am stuck somewhere between grade school and middle school right now and i guess I am begging for the 21 year old to kick in and take charge. I hope this fresh year brings me more guideance and more patience to see what is right and best for me and those I love.

Ok, its been a bit. Anyways I am almost 21 so Oct 24th-26th i am gonna be in vegas with Stu, daniel, nick, phil, sue, and bridged. Woohoooo. Well well well. As of last night the fire alarm went off cause the girls on the 4th floor blew out their candles. Good work ladies. My car is a new 96 ford explorer. It kicks ass and i just got it washed. I think the vegas trip will be fun in it. Daniel and Stu are comming in my car so i think the three of us will have a good ride. :) NO not like that u sickos! As for school... well i am passing. Isnt that a releif? I dunno. I am very hungry. I should make myself a sandwhich. I am gonna jam now.... If anyone even reads this... see ya!

I cannot sleep. ENglish 303 is kicking my ass and I dont have much else to say about it. I am scared more than usual about this mid term and i think the 3 shots of espresso (against my diet) are kickin in on full force. As for my hecktic life... well its going well. I got to paint my self portrait recently and I have been chillin with Stu an aweful lot. Hes probably the grounding force in my life right now. I really do miss my mom and dad though. I am not so much home sick as i am missing my two best friends. Sometimes i wonder what it would be like to just move back home. Recently i have also been craving pizza. Yeah, i know its bad for me. I havent yet, but watching these kids in my place eat all day makes me wish i was them. I have less than 22 days before i am 21. I cannot wait to splurdge. I know i sound like i am bitching, but what i am really doing is having a talk with myself. How important it is to be the way i am right now. I am really working on my heath. Its good to be selfish sometimes. I am just happy Stu looks out for me and supports me. As for my roomates, they are kind and loving. Jennifer has been smiling at me more so I am making more of an effort. Shes gonna be cool once she opens up i think. BTW, AMy... my pal from last semester.... shes the one tutoring me for 303. I owe her more than i can understand right now. SHes gonna save my ass this time and I mean it. As for Sarah, I am glad i have got her to connect with. Seems she and Jer are getting things worked out and I am happy for them. Sarah has got to be one of the easiest people to love here. She calls herself selfish, but i really do see her helping me and supporting me before herself. My eyes are becomming tired. I wanna sleep but i am afriad if i do then i wont remember what i studied. Can i be loosing my brain? I wanna hug stu right now but hes asleep. I think i need less social activity and more of this studying. I did it for about 6 hrs tonight and i feel better about my right to live here and how my parents pay for everything and my education. Speaking of which, i need a new car! Poor herb is very sick. Matt has been a living hell recently. (I cannot believe i published that comment) Its so true though. I mean common Matt lemme be with stu in peace. Its hard having someone love u, and u love them too... but u know hes horrible for u. Stu is the most gentile and kind hearted individual. Hes really good to me and for me. My mom has noticed how much i needed him and shes very pleased hes with me. Ya know, as much as i wish sometimes i was not me, i have to realize i have the best life. Hey, thats a VERY possitive comment for 3:10 am before a midterm so i am gonna end with that and say goodnight, so.... goodnight!
Rach

Well its the end of september and I havent written in here since July. Hmmm a huge gap I see. Probably the most important gap in my life and you all have missed it because I have slacked off. Well here goes nothing:

I moved to Fullerton, Ca by my lonesome. I ended up meeting a guy thats far beyond my wildest dreams (even if right now he and I are not on the best of terms, we'll work it out). I have three new roomies, well I take that back. In spirt of family I have 7 roomies and 2 neighbors. See first roomies are in my appartment. Cheryl, the compleatly adorable kid who lives with me, Mai who happens to melt in sunlight (shes awesome), and Jennifer who after a month I dont know anything about but shes good at art. Then my other roomies... the men who make all this possible in my life. First Stu, my boyfriend. Not only is he my bf but my bestfriend here too. I dont know how much i can say without getting to into my personal life, but hes gotta be one of the most kind hearted and loving individuals. Then there is Steven, hes sooooo cute! Man laddies if ur lookin for a lil hunk with a huge heart.... steven's ur man! Then Nick, I think hes in denyal about being so hot as well... But hes great with the Easy Mac and fun to talk to. I give this boy an 11 out of 10. Then last but never least of my roomies... Daniel. Hes totally into clarienett (sp?) and likes to pig out on In-N-Out as some of us jog our butts off every day. Also good company!
My neighbors are Sarah (also the RA) who wants me to see her naked and is my closest female friend here. I think shes not only excellent at advice but loves me too! heh heh She has three roomies i also like a lot. My other neighbor is el jeffe. (Jeff) He's compleatly hystarical. I think he and i connect on so many levels. Heck i took him for his eye brow peircing. Yes Jeff, it looks good.

As for everything else going on right now... my car broke down and I wont get another one until November. I know I am kinda angry. Sucks huh? Well i am a spoiled brat whos never had to wait for anything... maybe this is just another life lesson. I think i have plenty of room for improvement so this is something I can learn from and realize real people dont get what they want always.... but thanks sarah for the match box car. I appreicate the convertable, but insurance for it is high! A red car????????? I am now a cop mag! :) well this is the quick 411 for you all. Miss u bunches....


As always-
Rach

It's sunday, and remarkably i have survived the 4th of July. That day we moved diana into the cottage with liz and then went to Jasons to swim. Billy came to pick us up in his "hot" ride and we all shot illegal fireworks off in the high desert. Its been a month and a half and Jason and I are still dating pretty seriously. (he'd hate me if he knew i posted these things online) But oh well... its my life :o) heh heh. Mom got her surgery done and shes feeling well. I am pretty excited that everything is moving along well. yesterday Calvin and Jason took diana and i to La Jolla. The boys went snorkling for a bit and us girls read on the cliff... I didnt have much choice cause swimming recently is no bueno. (but i got great pictures) As for the convertable... well we learned it wasnt a road trip car. Calvin and I cannot explain how badly our knees hurt.
So since i have been stuck in summer school and awaiting my move to the on campus resident life, I dyed and straightened my hair. Yes its much darker now with blonde chuncks in the front. Not cute, but very punk. I love it so i guess thats all that matters. My hair has to be straightened daily, so i dont know how long this will last.... but its a change and i needed that. As for everything else... well i start up art school again this friday. so i will be drawing more. I need that relaxation period. Well Hey i dont normally do this to post messages but PETE, yes u PETE.... i keep seeing ur old place and i kinda miss talking to you. I have been reading ur bloggs... glad to know your ok. See ya soon pal!

Rach

Ok, so its been a while. Strangly I have been to busy to putz around on the computer or pay attention to school. Ya know for a totally stressed out, overachieving, overly zellous student... I havent really studied all summer. I am taking 2 novels classes, you'd think the heat would be on. Goodness, one only knows why i am content with a C! Thats never happened before! I am starting to miss some of the faces in my old classes and passing by the appartments on campus is leaving me itching to move, but recently my peers at home and I have grown a bit more attached. I am almost driven to say that moving might actually have some remorse with it, where are before i was DYING for the change. BTW, while i am jabbing about moving, Pete ur old appartment is lonely without u... (i pass by every day cause i like E lot best :oP ) My dating life picked up quiet a bit and i was starting a summer romance.... starting is the operative word. Its done now (ahhh how time flies). My parents are slowly building a porch in the front of our wonderful house. The mystery of it is why am i using it more then them???? I LOVE sitting outside and reading. I coulda sworn i wasnt 80 years old. BUT i think i am an old fuddy duddy already. I would claim i am people watching, but there are no people on my block to watch. Oh well, so i am lame. I am buying a Disneyland pass and i have sworn to go a lot this comming year. Anyone whos up for it let me know! I am extatic about it. also, the first Girls night is this wed. (so it doesnt take away from basketball) i am looking forward to it. And an update on my hyperextended elbow.... shes all purdy and fixed! shinny as a new whistle so now i am a baller once again! HAHAHAHAHAHA, i rawk! jk. well kids its time to go back to study mode. Miss ya bunches and hope ur enjoying the summer rain (whats with that???)-

Rachel, the new "Shanps"

Wow... where do i start? Okie lets start from this friday when we all played basketball (i pooped out VERY early) and then we went back to Jason and Calvin's house. I went on my first (and hopefully last) motorcycle ride. Calvin made me wear his helmit and I had to hold on tight. I totally enjoyed his efforts to take me on a ride, but I was not much of a sport. The speed made me wanna cry like a baby. So he turned around and we went back to eat their food and watch the origional "Gone in 60 seconds". I was muy impressed by the 25min car chase. Saturday rolls around and Jason pulls up in his corvette convertable and teaches me how to drive stick. It took me three hours, but I ended up driving all over town and took my mommy for a spin also. He was adorable and I think my mom wants to keep Jason for herself. So after we all grouped at my house and went to some party in Glendora. This house was HUGE i kid you not! I was muy impressed once again.... So we went to Katys at 12:30 am thinkin we'd stay for an hr. Well we kinda all stayed until 7am (11 of us) playing games and watching movies and ate all her food! So then I went to Lizzies and crashed for a few hrs. Came home did two loads of laundry, baked cookies, did the dishes, cleaned Jinx's tank, took a shower, read some of Ethan Frome (horribly boring book) and went BACK to Katys where I made dinner with her for all 11 of us! So then we all watched Montey Python and the Holy Grail and i headed off on my Merry way. Whew I had the best time! I even have pictures. I am looking forward to going to the Angels game soon with Greg also... but he didnt get the tickets. Go figure. Anyways I need to make a beach trip but i am not lovin summer school. Hope everyone is doing well... I miss u all! MUAH!

Ms. Sleepy head Rachie

The times in your life that you enjoy usually mean that good things have happened to you. Today I got almost half the stuff i need to move from home to my dorm in August free from Ikea. It was cause my mom and i were in line at the right time. (like a door prize) Its funny as my mom and i left the store we both felt terribly bad that we had won... WHY? we are good people... we recognized that many of those people in the store probably needed to win more then we did. I have made it my goal to write Ikea and see if they ever donate to less fortunate. On another note I have recently felt a lot closer spiritually to my religion... I am surrounding myself in good faith. I have always been religious and faithful, but i cannot ignore that i feel G-d has spoken to me by making finals week turn out the way it did. I am content with my grades... i know i worked very hard and what ever i have earned i will accept. I didnt do well in basketball this week. I actually got cliped on the side and it hurt soooo bad. But i know that its just a game. I have become a better sport playing with the Clairemont group then i ever have before. The past two weeks i have done a lot of soul searching. Why I am shairing this i dont know, but i feel SOOOO much better. I cannot wait to go to summer school and then meet my friends in Huntington to catch a few waves roll in. I am ready to soak up the UV rays on my boat, read good literature, and count the days until i move from my little room into a world of estrigen. Well... its late. I need sleep. Night! Lila tov!
Rach

There is definatly something about basketball twice a week. The competition is wild and my body aches like it never has before. I LOVE IT! Ok, so I have discovered i can shoot 1 outta 3 at the 3pt line. I cant shoot in the key cause i am kinda scared.... those big tall boys can be intimidating. As for finals... I dont know why i am not worried. I think i am more worried that i am not worried. Char finally got her peice of woman hood this week. I am proud of her. Pete, dude ur gonna be fine... finals are not THAT bad. Fight the feeling buddy! I washed my car. I know this shouldnt be such an event, but it was the first time all semester i washed it. So now it smells ok now and there isnt a whole bunch of school crap in it. I finally got Joey to admit he likes Brandy... this is a good step for Joey i think. Admitting u have an issue is the first step to recovery! Heh heh. As for Steve (joey i know u read this)... I cannot believe how excited he is about this one girl. I am so happy for ya steve! Next week i start summer school. I am getting pooped with this whole education bit. Not like i am going to school to make money. I am gonna be a teacher for goodness sakes. We dont make money! AND i am missing WARPED TOUR for it! ahhhhhh someone knock me senseless... what am i doing to myself? Ok well i am pooped. i wanna get naked and hop into bed like a professional gymnist. You kids take care. Good luck this summer and party ur butts off (cause i'll be the kid in the back sleeping as the prof. goes off about how profoundly written American lit is). Ta ta ta
Rach

This is an add on from the post previous.... CHARITY, I HOPE UR HEAD GETS BETTER.... BUY AN SUV! OR A BETTER MAN! heh heh

Ok, so this is the last normal week of the semester. I am having issues departing from spring of 03. So, here are some of the things that stand out in my mind:
1. Amy thinking i am eclectic and revising my work
2. Waiting to get beat up cause Charity shared her views on culture ;o)
3. Humping the broken statue on campus to win Gregs friendship.
4. Mid night cram sessions via net with other panicked classmates.
5. Watching a naked man (tartuff) in class with a HUGE grin on my face.
6. The fire alarm in the MH building ..."Im my moms only kid!"
7. Taking a shot of Rum after my first C, and darted off to take a mid term!
8. Breakfast with the ladies in the English department and all the men bashing we did.
9. Mikes never ending sanity when i couldnt hold myself together.
10. Jenny fell twice trying to walk to class... HAHAHAHAHA
11. Break dancing (the worm baby!)
12. the 15 hr paper in the library, 2nd floor, no air conditioning
13. Paper boy and the man whos only half black from the waist down. Oh and that damn Backstreet boy Charity loved
14. The LBC party when Steve and Jason had to ride in my trunk.
15. The first time i ate busy bee (blech)
16. All of my Bri cheese stories, wal mart runs baby!
17. Barry alone is a memmory, but the time he lit himself on fire was quiet the sceen at Cal Poly.
18. Mikes new appartment, the gun that shoots those plastic things that give me welts.
19. "I did not inhale in the LBC!"
20. The times my alarm didnt go off
21. The time Caldwell left the class in a puff... only to come back in a little later (we didnt move) trying to start class again!
22. Tims calls at the beginning of the semester.... every sunday, email 101
23. The time a Police officer appologized cause he made me move, when i was illegaly parked and the kid next to me selling weed..... and he drove by and said sorry cause he made us rush LOL!
24. Food poisioning with Bri and my fam over a bad tostada.. going to Phils and almost puking on his floor!
25. Mr. Rodgers died, and i think Professor Friend looks like him! (but i wouldnt want to be his neighbor)
26. I learned how to use a virsa teller!

Well i am sure more will come to me, but this is it for the while.
Have a good and safe summer my friends.
Rachel, the cute one, cause my mommy told me so!

Tah Dah! *claps* I felt like putzing around on the ol lap top and making a mockery of myself. Joey, i think its ur birthday.... but u wont tell us.... so happy Bday! (i think) Also, Cheese.... if it werent for ur insane sanity (whatever paradox u can get form that) i myself might not be the stable (hahahahaha) individual i am today. I love u like a sis, but thank goodness i dont have to share a bathroom with you! As for my long Gass poetry paper... "free at last, free at last, thank G-d almighty, free at last!" I have finished the dreaded paper (now awaiting the portion of this month where i get the grade and go psycho) Oh, hey my granny turned 80 today. WHat a marvolus woman. I adore her so much. I am glad she is healthy at 80 and uses the internet. How many grannys use Ebay? mine does! weird i know! some day when i am 80, she and i can play black jack, swing some beers, and hustle the grandkids :) heh heh.... Pete, we're talking again. Good to know that we can tag team it up at 4am to get through the nightmare of Gass. You're a Champ... I'll be the chump. Well i just wanna say Bri i appreciate the open connection we have. You are one of my best friends. We are NOTHING alike in nature, but we realize this an i think that makes the friendship more valuable. I love u very much, and if it matters at all... You're a founding sister of the SexSea Bitch sorority... Beta Hoe Class! woop woop. Sisters for life and no dues to pay!

I got a new lap top... my mom says its my third arm or my brain, but t he computer spells better then i do. We went to some rawkin party friday night in the LBC but those frat guys need to tell a chick when they are married. Ewww hello i am cute dont mess with me! So we have pics from the night. http://normality.net/images/digitalcampics/05-10-03/ check the mess out! Bri and i were diggin it. BTW Bri and Jason... i love u both, leave me outta it yo! Make out and make up, but leave the friend out on the curb where i can listen and watch with some pop corn. Tonight i saw mark which i havent in a long time. Good to see the cat again. I have so much school work to do its killin me. Its 2:40 and i am not asleep. How dumb can i be? wait wait dont answer it. Class isnt until 1pm anyways. duh... so i am gonna leave u now and work on my new computer. I LOVE THIS DAMN THING!!!!! have fun! night night
Rach

To the crew *ahem*:
It wasnt about the partying
Or the trips to the LBC
Its not about the shit we do
The late nights at Cal Poly
Dont think its the rice we eat
When we have no cash to spend
Its not about the beer we drink
Or the trunk rides from a friend
Not about the calls we make
Or the coffee house we play
Its JUST about the bonds we have
Like when i needed you today-

Steve, Mike, Jason, Cheese... you are my peeps!

Until you reach college u dont know what it means to be up at 4am cramming in a brit lit paper. U have no clue that the world is up past 10pm and that ur mom wakes up to use the restroom at around 1am. I dont think you ever truly come to terms with who you are and what your purpose is in life, but i think that college (with the help of an all nighter) really puts perspective on things. Tonight people have IMed me, called, and shown up to bond and i have gone astray... I am flirting with Milton, a dead man whos puritain values seem tarnished by my crass demise. Again i battle the literature displayed before me... and again I will loose to the hands of an angry professor. I kid you not, this is my life and for whom it concerns i care not. What i do care is how it pans out. Whats right is not always easy, and whats easy is not always right... College is right for me. I am learning more outside the class then within... It is not always how i find the answer that matters... just that i have found truth within myself.

Rach

Life is SOOOOO hard without a decent computer... but oh well... can u believe some cultures have never seen a light bulb? Man, i am on spoiled kid! BUT dispite my horrible "working" conditions... I have been deep in thought. Ya know as an English major its my job to read. (duh) Unrequited love is a MAJOR poem seller.. I HATE that so overly done Dickinson issue. I love her and her poems, yet sooo over the whole negitive love problems.
Barry, Pal i miss u so much. Whatever happened to friends who actually lived in my state? ALthough, i am glad to say Dave (Flounder) has called u out. And hes soooo right. Matthew has moved in with Lou, i thought i would never see the day some people moved outta that crappy and nasty hell hole they call the TKE house. If someone doesnt get SARS from there i would be shocked. I think this move will really help out with things. Make it easier to function. Seeing that Sean isnt fuctioning with Shawn its nuts.
I saw Xmen II Dude... u have to see the first one FIRST! duh, numeric order people! I am really stressed with papers (so rach why are u waisting ur time here?) cause i want to damit! (who said that??? *confused*) ANyways, i think i have kinda dropped off the planet with some people and i appologize. Bare with me please! Well, stay safe people. Enjoy the up and comming sunshine, and if the sun doesnt shine... share a smile, thats much better anyways. Although, i cant ride my boat on a smile. Pray for sun, smiles are optional! :o) take care people!

Waiting for the swells to be more merciful!
Rach

I cant imagine not experiancing what I have this past few weeks. It's been odd with the crew. Sometimes i think that if i am seperated from the gang to long that i am alone. Its amazing the lessons i learn about life... a fire breathing, nail shoving guy can be the best thing thats happened to me in a while. Its not about what the relationship is or can be, its not even about how it started... its regaining my faith in "good peeps". I have found the ultimate good person. Keeping good people in mind poor Mikes place has been used and abused a lot! I have been there so much lately. If not there then I am cramming all the papers that have built up... With all this excitement built I found out next summer (Not this one) I am going to Israel for a month. I cannot wait to tell Jack. My sunburn from boating is killin me. Blech! But the surf was nasty and choppy sunday anyways. Hey I got my housing papers today too...! wooohooo! i am movin out! yipeeeeee! I love my life. Anyways I am gonna study for Dr. Friends impossible exam and then hit the hay. U kids all be wild and crazy. And hey, Greg, sorry for washing ur face pal :o) i forget sometimes i am not everyones mommie ....heh heh

L'hetraot- Rachie